


three months of letters

by IDONTWRITELEMONS (wedontwritelemons)



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adoptive Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, Found Family, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), IRL Fic, Older Sibling Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, its all platonic lol, reference to past abuse, thats it thats the fic, theyre family youre honor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-22 20:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30044235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedontwritelemons/pseuds/IDONTWRITELEMONS
Summary: Tommy knows the drill. He's been in and out of foster homes all his life. He makes it a game to see how quickly he can get kicked out of homes.Dream used to tease him for 'speedrunning the system'.But this family is different. Its stay with them for the full three months, or move hours away from all Tommy's friends.Whatever, it shouldn't be too hard to stick around and not get attached. Besides, nobody wants a raggedy sixteen-year-old off the streets.Right?Or- just another found family fic with foster sbi, there's no shortage of these fics but ofc i had to do one too... with a twist ;)
Relationships: Niki | Nihachu & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Niki | Nihachu & Wilbur Soot, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 171
Kudos: 865





	1. day one and the two days before it

**Author's Note:**

> UH  
> this is a gift for my friend, emma, who is hyper fixated on mcyt. all I know is what shes told me. if characterizations are off, please lmk so I can fix it and get them more realistic? Ive watched a grand total of two tommyinnit streams whoops.
> 
> hopefully, my kickass writing and storyline makes up for what I lack in characterization.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how it started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy pov

I quietly pull out my notebook as Ranboo and Tubbo talk to each other quietly in the cafeteria. The room is loud and I would much rather hide in the bathroom, but it's the only free people I have to talk with my friends and you bet I’m gonna take it, even if it’s just to listen to them go on about a new video game.

“Tommy, you’re being oddly quiet today.” Tubbo says suddenly, turning to me.

“Uh oh, he’s writing a letter to you, Tubbo, you know what that means.” Ranboo says, looking over my shoulder at the ‘ _Dear Tubbo_ ’ written in my sloppy handwriting.

The shorter boy gasps. “No! Are you getting relocated?”

When I get moved with a new foster family, they are, more often than not, not from this town, meaning I switch schools until I inevitably get kicked out for bad behavior and come back to the home. 

As a foster kid, I don’t get a phone unless my family provides one, and since my average time is half a week, I go without one a lot. My only way to keep in touch with my friends is by mail, and Ranboo is part of the foster system too, so he doesn't exactly have a constant mailbox. So I have Tubbo’s address memorized. He’s equally my pen pal and my diary, happily reading whatever letters I send.

Besides, if I really needed to get a message out quickly, I bought my own computer a few years back, same with Ranboo. I could always pop into the nearest public library or McDonalds and pop open Discord. But the letters are kinda therapeutic in a way. And lord knows foster kids don’t get therapists. 

“Yes and no.”

“How do you answer yes and no to getting relocated?” Ranboo raises an eyebrow.

“Yes, I’m going with another foster family. But they live in this town, so no, I’m not getting relocated.”

“When?” Tubbo asks.

“In two days, Sunday. I met my dad yesterday.”

“And?” Ranboo asks, leaning forward. 

He gets it. Once you get to our age, foster families care less and less. When you're sixteen you’re no longer the cute baby a mom can boast about saving on Facebook. You’re just another cranky teen. Foster families are abusive, neglectful, and more often than not only want a foster kid for the money that comes with it. 

“He seemed okay. He’s fostered two kids before, in fact, he adopted both of them. One's now in college but he stays home to commute every day and another is a senior at this school. He officially adopted them both around the same time like eight years ago.”

“Weird.” Ranboo hummed.

“I know, right?”

Tubbo glazed in between us. “Friendly reminder,” he pointed to himself. “Fortunate to have a happy biological family. No clue what’s so _weird_ that you're hinting at. He’s fostered before _and_ adopted them. This should be good for you, right Tommy?”

I shook my head. “But why is it sixteen year old, eight years later? He was clearly on a foster and adopted roll back then, why stop and pick back up now?”

Tubbo nodded. “I see now.”

“It doesn't really matter though, I’ll be back at home in a week. My record is four and a half hours.” I shrug, turning back to my notebook.

Even if I’ll be staying in town, I always keep a pack of stamps in my bag just in case I need to turn away from a bad house and live off-grid for a while. I can’t go to school as a runaway, it’s the first place cops look. So I keep in touch in other ways.

_Right now, as you know, I’m writing from the comfort of our lunch table. I’ll be quite honest, I’m nervous for Sunday._

_The foster dude seems nice. His name is Phil, single dad of a twenty-one-year-old and an eighteen-year-old._

_I can already feel myself getting used as a punching bag._

_That’s okay, because if that happens you know the code blue._

It’s been a while since we used code blue. Even as I rack my brain to remember, the closest even that comes up was Fundy, and that was years ago. 

That’s a good thing.

Code blue is a last resort.

_The bells are gonna ring, but ofc I’ll finish this letter later._

* * *

“Thomas, this is a very nice man. Don’t fuck it up.” My social worker, Natalie, is giving me the extremely familiar speech as we drive, one I'm sure I can recite myself at this point. “Now, I know you understand but I’ll say it again. This is a temporary thing. Three months. The home was getting full and I just needed somewhere to stick you for a while. _If you just so happen to get kicked out_ you're getting sent to a home about three hours away. And I don’t want that for you and I know you don’t want that.”

_She was right, Tubbo. I didn’t want that._

_But like- if this place is shitty, I’m still dipping. Besides, my worker called the last dude who fostered me ‘a very nice man’. My jaw and ribs are still bruised._

“I understand.” I shrug. I won't have to go to a different foster care if I run and don’t get caught. I may be forced to stay here but I’m not gonna like it and I sure as hell won't be nice about it.

Natalie tsks. “I have a good feeling about this one.” She said softly. “I know I say that a lot, but I feel it in my gut this time. Just _try_ to have a good three months? If you stay locked up and defensive, nothing good will ever come.”

_Does this bitch know I’ve been forced to sleep in garages and under stairs? If you stay locked up and defensive, nothing good will ever come, my ass. It’s self fucking defense._

“If even one hand is throw at me I’m fucking leaving.” I cross my arms. 

“ _Language,_ Tommy, please.” She sighs. “But I understand. If that happens, call me. I’ll pick you up. I always do.”

_My social worker is a bitch sometimes, you know this. But she does truly care. I know she takes it to heart when a place doesn't work for me. She cares more than I do, if we’re being totally honest, Tubbo._

“For heaven's sakes also don't spend your whole time in that notebook of yours,” Natalie says glancing down at my lap. “I am very glad you have a constant friend as a form of rock and home base, but interacting with more than a sheet of paper would be nice.”

I shrug, glazing out the windows at the cars that pass. We’re in the nice part of the neighborhood, where the apartments are bigger and the paint jobs are newer. 

_Bonus to get fostered in this town? I already know all the routes._

Natalie sighs. “You have your backpack? Laptop? Stamps?” 

I nudged the small black back at my feet. “Yeah.”

Natalie gave me that bag herself after my tenth foster home, three years ago. I guess she knew we were in it together for the long haul.

At this point, my plan is just house hopping till eighteen.

“Alright,” Natalie slows down in front of one of the apartments. It's a deep green, almost grey, with a kept front yard and a slightly chipping door. “We’re here.”

As I glance through the car window I can see a curtain inside the house shift on the second floor. Oh god, they were waiting for our arrival.

_Well, Tubbo. Time to introduce myself to the new temporary family. I’ll add on and probably send out this letter later. I’m not too worried about the whole three months thing. My record and four and a half hours in home and I’ve survived a month alone on the streets before._

_I’ll be in and out of this house, easy._

_And the worst comes to worst? They have mailboxes three hours away lol._


	2. day two, three and letter one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy catches himself slipping after only two days. It's gonna be a long three months...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy pov

The door swung open before Natalie could even knock. A wide-eyed, tall as fuck, brown-haired man with glasses stood in the doorway.

“Phil is at the store and he said he’d be back before you guys arrived but he isn’t and I’m not sure what to do?” When he spoke, his words were rushed and all in one breath.

Natalie chuckled, but I stayed still. I wasn’t done getting a read on this man. He wasn’t the one I met last week, Phil, so he had to be one of the children. 

“Wilbur, you can start by letting them in.” A monotone voice called from inside the house.

The man, Wilbur, stepped to the side. “Oh my god, you’re right. I’m so sorry.”

Natalie put her hand on my back to guide me first into the house and I looked around, gripping tightly on my backpack. The house entered right into the living room with a corner kitchen off to the right. 

There was a boy with pink hair, sitting on the sofa who was most likely the source of the monotone voice. I recognized him from school. Techno, or Technoblade as he was nicknamed. He was head of the wrestling team and could _definitely_ kick my ass.

I subconsciously found myself stepping closer to Natalie. 

“Hi!” Wilbur smiled, holding out his hand. “I’m Wilbur.”

“I know.” I say dryly, not bothering to shake his hand. I have both hands in a death grip on my backpack like somebody might take it.

Past foster homes have tried before. 

They wanted to make sure I wasn’t sneaking a weapon into the house or something.

Wilbur awkwardly lowers his hand after a second, instead turning to talk to Natalie, letting me look around more. 

Techno was on his phone, seemingly disinterested in what was going on, which was the total opposite of Wilbur, who looked like he was madly trying to lock all information into his brain. 

_Tubbo, I think I’ve gotten pretty good at reading people, wouldn't you say? I’ve been through so many foster homes I can tell their intentions pretty quick._

_But these two?_

_I had no clue._

_And that didn’t sit very well with me_.

Phil didn’t take long to arrive and he took even less time to finish the paperwork Natalie had for him. 

I was so zoned out I didn’t even realize what was happening until Natalie was ruffling my hair and saying goodbye, leaving me, once again, with strangers. 

“Alright kid, I’m sure you’re tired.” Phil said. He was standing a little ways from me, giving me my space but blocking my path to the door. 

_I was about to say it’s almost like he’s done this before, but then I remembered, he has._

_Twice_.

“Why don’t I point you to your room, and you can get the tour after dinner. How does pizza sound?”

I shrugged. “I’m indifferent.” 

“Sounds perfect.” Phil smiled. Either he was intentionally ignoring my disinterest and mood or he was too fucking dumb to realize. “Follow me.”

I followed him through the house and up the stairs to a hallway.

“The two doors on the right are mine and Technos. Wills is right here,” He motioned to the door next to us. “And yours is right down the hall on the left. The door in the center is the bathroom, hope you don’t mind sharing.”

I shrugged again, walking down the hall to the room Phil had pointed to. 

The door, luckily, had a lock on it. 

Some homes don't give me a lock out of fear I’ll abuse my power. 

I shut the door behind me and lock it before looking around. 

It was your typical guest bedroom design. A full bed in the corner with white sheets and a grey comforter, a small desk, and an empty closet. 

_I’m not complaining. A full bed is a score in foster homes. Remember the time I slept on a dog bed?_

_Rough times._

I place my backpack on the bottom of the closet. My hands hurt as I let go from gripping so tight, but it was a habit. The bag held all my belongings, and I don’t own much. Just school stuff, a laptop, and some stamps on envelopes. 

I shut the closet and turn back to face my room. 

_Something about this house gave me vibes. Not bad vibes, but new ones for sure. Almost, hopeful._

_I kinda knew I was fucked, I mean, I’ve been here for twenty minutes and I’m already falling._

_One (1) old man is nice to me and suddenly I think I’ve found the family._

_But ofc I know better, and I know you know I know better. So me, being the big man I am, swallowed those hopeful vibes and settled for the harsh reality._

_This was a three-month (hopefully less) thing. I’m only gonna stay here so I can continue going to school with you and Ranboo._

There’s a window on the far wall and I walk over to it to look out. It’s a view into the side yard, with a tree directly past the glass. 

It didn’t look sturdy, but in an emergency, it was possibly climbable. 

_It’s good to have multiple exit routes._

_Just in case._

I didn’t sleep, but I laid in the bed, face-up, above the covers, with my feet dangling off the edge for about half an hour.  
I never stay in a house long enough to trust it enough to sleep at night. 

There’s a soft knock on my door and I jump a bit. “Pizza is here.” The monotone voice is back on the other side. 

_Oh yeah, forgot to tell you. I’m living with Technoblade. Techno. The blade. T Blade. By the time you get this letter I bet I’ve said it to your face, but if this man asks me to help him wrestle all bets are off, call code blue bc I'm outta this bitch._

I step out of my room, shutting the door behind me. Techno clearly didn’t wait, as he was already down the hall.

“I’d come fast before there's none left.” He throws over his shoulder.

_I’m used to not eating much at foster homes anyway_.

This family was acting so- chill. Like they didn’t care there was some random sixteen-year-old in their house. I follow Techno, from a distance, into the kitchen, living room area, where Wilbur and Phil are sitting at a table in the corner next to the kitchen.

Phil slips a slice of plain pizza out of the box and onto a paper plate a motion for me to sit in front of it, which I do. 

I still haven’t talked much to this entire family and I’m hoping then to pick up the leave me alone vibe.

“So, Tommy-” Phil starts. Guess not. “Tell us a bit about yourself.

_Small talk._

_GOD Tubbo, I hate small talk._

_I hate the way families doge around the personal questions they truly wanna know with the ‘you have hobbies?’ ‘favorite color?’ or ‘ever had this dinner before?’ until they get bored and all of the sudden it's ‘why are you a foster kid?’ ‘What happened to your last house?’ etc._

“I’m sixteen,” I start, rallying off the fun fact mantra I’ve perfecting through the multiple homes. “I go to this town's school, I like mac and cheese, my favorite color is red, and I hate vegetables.” Despite my _very clearly_ disinterested tone, Phil seems very invested. “But what color red, like a bright red, a muted red, a ruby red or-”

“Red.”

“I see.” He smiles, taking a bite of his pizza. Then he turns to Wilbur and begins asking him about his classes n shit so I zone out, seemingly passing this first round of conversation. 

I'm already full after one slice but Phil is _still_ talking to the three of us. Only Techno and Wilbur are responding but he keeps addressing me in the mix and it’s very clear I’m in this conversation. It’d be rude to walk away.

And last time I was rude-

Well, my ribs are a perfectly good reminder. 

_Yeah, I’m a little bitch, but I’m not gonna intentionally poke the bear too much, especially when I don’t know how he's gonna react. Family dinner seems to be a big thing here and I’m not looking to get beat up for skipping it._

_Despite having school the next day, I sat for an hour and a half while Phil and his kids jumped from topic to topic, not saying a word._

_By the time I changed into my one pair of pajamas, I had definitely passed my four-and-a-half-hour record._

_Oh well, I’ll get myself kicked out tomorrow or something._

* * *

“ _The_ Technoblade?” Ranboo hissed at lunch. “You’re gonna get your ass kicked.”

“I _know_.” I groan, leaning back on my chair. “This sucks.”

“He was the only person who could beat Dream,” Tubbo recalled. 

Dream was another foster kid who went to this school. He was Technos age and a big brother and protector to all the foster kids. Fortunately (for him, really sad for us), he finally got his good karma and got adopted about an hour away.

We still see him sometimes, he competes for another high school wrestling team, and during our home games, he’s there.

“And who's the other one?” Ranboo asks.

“Wilbur? I dunno much about him. He’s in college n shit.”

“I think my sister has a friend named Wilbur,” Tubbo said. “Freaking tall, glasses, brown hair?”

“Yes?”

“Then yeah, he’s Niki’s friend. He’s nice.”

“Good to know.” I shrug, stabbing my food with a fork. “Not that I’ll be staying long.”

“Dude you gotta hold out,” Ranboo said. “Three months for us, or else who knows when you’ll next see us again?”

_Ranboo had a point, but I’ll never say that to his face. Never show him this letter, Tubbo. I’m dead fucking serious._

“I’ll try and hold out, but this house feels like a total mystery. They aren’t totally welcoming and rushing to give me a tour and tell me all the family secrets, but they also aren't total shutouts. They’re just treating me like-” I pause trying to find the word. “Normal. Like I’m another human with feelings to be mindful of.”

“I thought that's a good thing,” Tubbo questioned.

“It would be if it was genuine.” I shrug. “But I’m not sure if it's genuine or not.”

Tubbo nodded, turning back to his food.

“You still gonna join us in our walks tho?” Ranboo asked.

“Of course.” I grin.

Ranboo and I were some of the longest members of the home. We took the younger kids on walks around town every night, it was like tradition. Dream and Fundy used to lead the walks, but now they're both gone to good homes, so it’s Ranboo and it's my turn to step up. It’s the only time the younger foster kids can leave and explore the town, so we make sure to never miss a day.

Besides, it’s good to know your surroundings if you ever need to run away.

“You joining us Tubbo?” Ranboo asked.

“I’m invited?!”

“You’re always invited.” I smiled while taking another bite of lunch. “Why do you think we pass your house every time?”

“Oh yeah, you’re right.” Tubbo laughed. “Yeah, I’ll join tonight.”

Tubbo has been my friend for longer than I’ve been in the system. While Ranboo and others I’ve known for five years, I’ve known Tubbo for life. Most people wouldn't want to stick with an eleven-year-old who's just been orphaned. 

But Tubbo did.

Even when his Mom and Dad said not to.

“Glad you’ll be there.” I smile. 

He’ll never know how much I mean it.

* * *

“Hey, Kid. Where are you going?” Phil stops me before I can walk out.

“I’m just going for a walk with some kids I’m friends with. Y’know. Fresh air.”

Phil raises an eyebrow and looks me up and down like he’s searching for something in my empty hands and light jacket.  
And then it hits me.

_He thinks I’m trying to run away._

“It’s just a walk around town I swear,” I say quickly. “I’ll be back in an hour or something, promise.”

Phil pauses before nodding. “I believe you. Just say bye next time, okay? You’re gonna have me stressed if you disappear into thin air.”

“Okay, sorry.” I say quickly. I don’t need to get on Phil's bad side and get the privilege removed.

It’s happened before.

“And if these walks are gonna be a normal thing, we can look into getting you a phone when you get back.” He nods to the door. “Go have fun, be back before dark.”

_His words didn’t really catch up with me until I was down the driveway and heading to the home, if I’m being honest._

_He’s gonna get me a phone?_

_For three months?_

_It seemed like a waste of money, but I’ve never really had a phone before. Unless you count the shitty flip phone I had for two hours in house number seven._

_I’ve never had a phone long enough to memorize my number, is a more accurate sentence._

“Let's wait here for Tubbo.” Ranboo says to the four kids we’re with as we stop outside Tubbo’s house.

I can see him in the window wearing a jacket like he was waiting for us.  
He probably was.

I wave him out and see him yell something into the house before disappearing from the window and reappearing at the door, running down the porch steps and to our group. 

His sister, Niki, steps into the window view, waving goodbye to her little brother. 

Tubbo and Niki have always had such a sweet relationship. I won't lie and say I didn’t feel jealous of it sometimes.

To have an older sibling who waits for you to arrive home safe, or makes you breakfast in the morning- it was a luxury I never got. Niki let Tubbo hang out with her and her friends and kept him in the loop with her life. They were inseparable, and I wish I had it.

“Hey Tommy, look it’s your foster brother- right?” Ranboo pointed back to the window. “Going based of descriptions that looks like-”

“Yeah, that's Wilbur.” Wilbur and two more people have appeared behind Niki to watch Tubbo leave.

I’m not sure if Wilbur saw me, but if he did, he didn’t wave or anything. 

I tried to ignore the pit of disappointment in my stomach. 

I’ve known him for under forty-eight hours, and I’ll only be staying with him for three months. 

_It’s fucking stupid how quickly I get my hopes up even after five years._

_It’s not fair to myself, but I bet it's also not fair to others. They think they've made progress in getting me to open up, only for me to catch myself slipping and isolate myself all over again._

_It's a cycle of negative progress, and one that only results in foster families getting frustrated and me getting hurt, physically or mentally._

_Not that I’ll change._

I clutch the twenty in my pocket as we enter the center of town.

“You guys wait out here, I gotta stop at the drugstore,” I say with a smile, not to set off the younger kids, but Ranboo’s face falls with understanding.

“More concealer already?”

“The last house was a doozy.” I grin. 

“It’s not funny, Tommy.” Tubbo frowns. 

“It’s how I cope, big man.” I shrug, turning to step into the store, leaving Tubbo and Ranboo to watch the younger kids as the sun sets behind the trees.

_Alright, I think I've had a pretty eventful few days. Time to send off this letter before it becomes a novel. Talk to you in school tomorrow._

_Love your friend, Tommy_


	3. days four and five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, but the information in it is very important

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy pov

I can walk to school from Phil’s house. He offered to drive me, since he drives Techno, but I like walking.

It’s calming and gives me a chance to zone out and think.

_ There was never much time to think in the other foster homes, or in the home itself. Everything was always loud and I always needed to be on edge.  _

_ But this house has been weird, Tubbo.  _

_ Nobody yells at me for hiding in my room, nobody forces me to come out and talk. I’m given my space, and I’m allowed time to think. _

_ Almost too much time to think. _

I see Ranboo waiting for me at the school entrance as I cross the street. Tubbo takes the bus so we typically meet him in the halls by his locker. 

“Hey man!” I say once I’m in earshot.

“What’s up?” Ranboo smiles.

“I sent out my first letter to Tubbo this morning, but it was a short one. Uneventful is good in this situation.”

“Yeah,” Ranboo says as we walk. I can almost feel him looking at the poor makeup job on my jaw. 

_ Uneventful is better than eventful in a negative way. I'd rather boring than bruised. _

“Does this foster family know about the bruises n shit?” Ranboo asked, leaning closer to me in the crowded halls.

“I’m sure my worker told Phil at least, but none of them have brought it up. Even so, I doubt Natalie gave Phil the full story. Probably just let him know I got knocked around a bit.”

“Knocked around a bit? Tommy, you needed the hospital. You broke your  _ ribs _ .”

“One rib, Ranboo. It was only one. Just a lot of bruising other than that. Besides, I was a bitch and got on the last foster dad’s nerves.”

“You missed curfew by ten minutes. Tommy. That’s not a valid reason to hospitalize a foster kid. Jesus, just run next time, okay? I don’t understand why you hate running away. Everyone else would be out and hiding within five minutes, yet you insist on holding through.”

“It’s my pride,” I state, stopping at my locker. “Besides, if I pulled a code blue every time somebody raised their hand to me it would ruin the whole ‘only use as a last resort’ vibe.”

Dream and Sapnap, before both of them left the home in this town, made a bunch of ‘codes’ for us. Each one meant something else with a different level of severity. 

We all had a discord together where we could tell each other our codes. Like if a family is kinda neglectful with feeding a foster kid, we’d say code yellow, and somebody would bring a snack for us the next day. Codes like that were small. They weren’t life or death.

Code red was the worst. That's when we tell a social worker and cops are called. That is a total danger with no escape.

Code blue a last resort. A cry for help. It's used when you're running away and need help, a place to stay, a way to avoid the cops or a dangerous foster family for a bit.

I’ve only needed to use code blue once, and Ranboo has never. 

We’re fortunate like that.

I close my locker after dropping off stuff and turn around to see Ranboo wave over none other than Tubbo.

“Good morning you guys.” He smiles as we all head to Ranboo’s locker. 

I never told Tubbo what happened with the old house. He gets so worried for Ranboo and I, he might have died of a heart attack if he found out.

That whole night was blurry anyway.

I remember the yelling, the punches, locking myself in the bathroom with just enough time to type ‘cofe rwd’ onto my laptop before the door got kicked down-

“You good, Tommy?” Tubbo asked. “You zoned out and got really tense.” His hand is hovering above my shoulder like he isn't quite sure if he wants to touch me or not. 

“I’m fine, big T.” I smile, shaking my shoulders as if I could kick the stress off. 

Tubbo looks back and forth between me and Ranboo, who looks like he too is reliving that night in his head. “Alright, I guess. You two are acting weird for a Tuesday morning. Anyway-”

_ There’s a lot about being a foster kid you'll never understand, Tubbo. I know I try and let you know everything but even then, being aware and  _ understanding _ is different. _

_ Some things I don’t think I could even put in words.  _

_ Like how when another foster kid is hurt, you feel the pain just as much. _

_ Because the closest thing a foster kid will ever get to family are other kids in the home. _

_ And when one of us is in danger, the helpless feeling hurts so bad. _

_ Being the one to call 911 with a shaky hand, not knowing if your friend is going to be okay is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. _

_ But it’s a familiar feeling. _

I nudge Ranboo as we walk, as a silent ‘are you okay?’.

That night was hard on him too, I may have been hurt physically, but it fucked with everyone in that discord mentally. 

He nods with a smile as we both tune back into Tubbo’s excited conversation about plans he has with Niki tonight. 

* * *

_ I forgot there was a math test today.  _

_ That holds no relevance to my foster life but I thought you should know. I spent the whole day cramming in knowledge for the ninth period exam, that's why I didn’t talk at lunch if you were wondering.  _

By the time the end of the day came, I was exhausted. My bag was heavy, my assignment pad was full, and the walk home seemed even longer than before. 

I almost felt glad there was no walk tonight. It was going to rain later so Ranboo and I decided against it. 

I pushed my way through the halls of the school as the final bell rang, making my way to the back of the building, where pick up and kids who are walking can leave. 

There were fewer kids back here, since most of the student body was leaving in the front to take the bus. 

As I walked, a familiar head of pink hair caught my eye.

_ Living with Techno had to be the weirdest. Like Phil and Wilbur tried to include me in conversations. They didn’t push, but they made sure I knew I was included. Technoblade on the other hand seemed to be just as isolated as me.  _

_ Only making remarks when necessary, shrugging as a response to a question, and spending a lot of time in his room. _

_ But he kept the door open, while mine was locked tight.  _

I watched him talk with friends. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but he looked tenser in school. Not uncomfortable, but more aware of everything around him.

_ See, I’m back on my bullshit. I’m good at reading people. _

I wonder where Techno and Wilbur lived before this. They sure as hell weren’t part of this town’s foster care, I would know them then. 

* * *

The rain from yesterday left puddles on the streets as the group walked, with Ranboo, Tubbo, and I in the front. We had finished the walk and were dropping Tubbo off at home before parting ways, me to Phil’s house, everyone else to the home.

It was warm out and the sky was still golden as we walked, waving to people also out on a nice evening. 

“Shit,” Tubbo mumbled as we approached his house.

“What?” Ranboo asked, turning to fast Tubbo as he slowed down.

“Nothing, just. Uh, you guys should walk ahead.”

I followed Tubbo’s gaze to see his Mom gardening in the front yard.

Oh.

“Oh.”

Tubbo’s parents didn’t trust me. For good reason, I guess.

They knew me before I was orphaned. They knew the happy child I was when I first met Tubbo.

They watched me change, act out, get violent. 

They worry I’ll change Tubbo too.

It’s not true. Tubbo knows that. 

They don't.

“You guys walk ahead, I’ll go the long way back home.” I say, stepping back a bit.

“You sure, man?” Ranboo asked. “We can split with Tubbo here and all go the long way.”

“Nah, that's even longer for you guys, it’s only like an extra five minutes for me. I’ll ping you when I get home. Promise.”

Ranboo nodded, guided the other kids away after I hugged them goodbye. Tubbo put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know.” I smile. “It’s not your fault. This is easier than us both getting yelled at.”

“Right.” Tubbo’s eyes fell to the ground as I hugged him. 

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, right?”

“See you in school.” He nodded.

_ It was stupid, but it was also my fault. _

_ Ranboo didn’t get that bad rep, but he also didn’t steal, run away, talk back, and pick fights. _

_ I did.  _ _   
_ _ From the ripe age of eleven, I was throwing hands and speaking through backdoors. _

_ I don't do much anymore.  _

_ Yeah, I still have an attitude, but I stopped pocketing cash years ago. _

_ But the reputation for those sorts of things stick. _

Phil’s house comes into view and I see him sitting on the front porch, either enjoying fresh air or waiting for me. 

Maybe both.

_ It’s a miracle some families still genuinely try and foster me. Phil isn't the first parent to have good intentions, and he won't be the last. _

_ They’re rare, but they’re out there.  _

_ But they’re never permanent. _

_ They think I’m some broken kid to be fixed. But when they realize duct tape and pretty wrapping don't change the damaged goods within, it's goodbye again.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finished planning this bad boy, its a long fic, I hope you're here for the long run. I'm gonna t r y and update daily but some chapters are gonna be longer than others and I don't really have the time


	4. day six, letter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy takes a chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy pov

“You can stay home if you wish,” Phil says to me at dinner. “The meets can last a while, we’d understand if you had homework or something.”

He’s giving me an out, I know that. 

It's a Thursday and Techno has a wrestling meet. It’s obviously a big deal in this house, with the way it's been made into a family event.

But Phil was letting me know it’s totally okay to stay behind.

_It’s nice._

_I’ve been forced into events I didn’t want to attend to in the past, with foster families insisting I come with them. They were scared I’d leave while home alone or something._

But Dream’s gonna be there tonight, and Ranboo told him he and I would be there to cheer him on.

“I’ll come. I don’t have much work.”

“Awesome.” He smiles, “We leave in about an hour, so eat quick.”

_I know you’ve heard of Dream, but you’ve never met him. He’s nice._

_Even now that he’s moved away and found his family, he still cares so much about all the foster kids._

_He checks up on us every once in a while and is still active on the foster discord._

_Maybe one day I’ll be like that one day to the younger kids now._

I look around the dinner table at everyone else eating. It's been six days, and they’ve yet to show any signs of anger or resentment to me. Phil caught my eye with a smile and I quickly looked down at my plate. I didn’t realize I was staring. 

_Maybe one day I’ll be like that to the younger kids, but not today._

Techno dismissed himself from the table first to go get ready, followed shortly by the rest of us. I slipped into my room, locking my door, and opening my laptop. 

I didn’t use the computer for much except school and to chat with friends. I had an unread pm from Tubbo, but I’ll read it later. There were a couple of people active on the foster discord, so I popped into the VC.

“-ommy is active! Oh hello, Tommy!” Ranboo’s voice filtered first. 

“Tommy!”

“There he is!”

Sapnap and Dream were also in voice chat, their voices cracking through the speakers.

“Hold on, gang. Let me put in my headphones.”

* * *

This place is loud. It’s always been loud, but today the building felt smaller, the people felt bigger, and the voices felt _so loud_.

Ranboo and I always hung around the back and waited for Dream, but this time I was in the front row, sandwiched between Wilbur and Phil. 

I told everyone I’d meet them after the meet since I was here right now to support Techno. 

_I don’t know much about wrestling. I’d_ probably _be good at it. I mean, you just tackle a bitch._

_At least that's what it looks like._

_I’m good at that._

_Dream and Techno didn’t go against each other this match, which was good, because I’ve seen them go against each other._

_They’re really close in skill._ _  
_ _In the past, I’d rot for Dream and everything would be fine, but as I watched Techno go, I found myself cheering for him along with Wilbur and Phil._

_Not as loudly of course. When they stood up and shit I stayed sitting, but like in my head I was on Techno’s side._

_Pride by association or something, I guess._

_Still, as Dream went up I cheered for him too._

_I’m fucked when they inevitably go against each other._

Everyone’s social battery has a limit. Some people can go for hours, laughing and talking with friends. Mine lasts maybe twenty minutes. But I’ve been in this gymnasium for an hour and a half.

The people, the yelling, the closed confines- it all seemed a lot more relevant again.

 _And_ a lot worse.

Suddenly, being squished in between Wilbur and Phil wasn’t okay anymore. 

There wasn’t enough fucking air in this gym for everyone _screaming_ and jumping around. 

I tugged on my sweatshirt collar absentmindedly.

It wasn’t tight, but it felt suffocating.

_Claustrophobia is a bitch._

I’m snapped out of my thoughts by a hand on my leg. Wilbur is sitting again, but this time he isn’t watching the game- even though Techno is up. He’s looking at me.

“You okay?”

_I debated lying._

_I don’t need this foster family's help._

_I’ll be fine._

_Except I’m not fine? I’m choking on nothing and about to cry over a couple of loud shouts._

_So, dear Tubbo, I took a leap of faith._

“Can we get some fresh air?”

“Of course.” Wilbur smiled gently, helping me up. 

Phil shot us a confused glance but didn’t say anything as Wilbur lead me through the crowds. He stood in front of me with his grip still lightly on my arm, guiding me past all the cheering parents and classmates. 

_I’ve been dragged places before my old foster homes, but Wilbur’s grasp felt different._

_It wasn’t tight or forceful, and he wasn't even really dragging me, just making sure I was still behind him._

_If I wanted to pull away I could._

_I didn’t._

_But it was nice knowing if I wanted to I could._

Once we were outside Wilbur stepped to the side, giving me my space.

The night air was cooler than the hot and crowded gym.

I didn’t realize just how much I _wasn’t_ breathing until I felt this breeze bite at my face.

“You okay?” Wilbur asked softly.

“Yeah,” I mumble. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Wilbur leans against the brick wall behind us. “I get it. It gets loud in there. Especially when the bigger schools come by to go against us.”

“Right.”

He hums. “I can go inside if you want.”

I shrug. “It’s whatever. I-”

“Tommy?”

Both Wilbur and I turn around to see Ranboo turn the corner. “I knew I heard your voice! Sapnap and I were just over there, we’re waiting for Dream to finish. You okay?”

“I’m good.” I say quickly, the grip still tugging my sweatshirt away from my neck directly contrasting that.

“You know these two?” Wilbur asked. “And Dream?”

“Uh, yeah.” I nod. “Sapnap, Ranboo, meet my foster brother, Wilbur. Wilbur, meet some of my closest friends and other foster kids.”

“Nice to meet you!” Ranboo smiled.

“You can go back in if you want, I’ll be okay out here with them.” I say, turning back to Wilbur.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright,” Wilbur nodded. “I’ll see you later. Stay safe.”

“I will.”

_I don’t know how to reach people caring about me. You and Ranboo know this best, Tubbo. It makes me all squeamish and it just dissents and sits right with me._

_Like-_

_How the hell do you react to that?_

_I guess I’m just not used to people caring. Like yeah, you and other kids from the foster home care, but nobody knew in the past five years have shown any sign of caring about my well-being._

_How the hell do I respond to Wilbur all of the sudden making sure I’m good?_

_Ugh._

_Fuck emotions. We don’t need em._

Sapnap and Ranboo lead me over to the other side of the building, where they and a couple of other people are waiting by the back exit of the gym for Dream. Ranboo and I sit on a bench and I don’t pay attention to any of the conversations going on. I’m still trying to get my shit together. There are two people I’ve never met before, but I don’t care about that right now.

Suddenly Sapnap lets out a cheer and I look up to see Dream standing at the back door. “Won my last match of the night.”

“Dream!” Ranboo shot up. 

“Don’t hug me, I’m gross.” He smiled, ruffling Ranboo’s hair. “Why hello there Tommy.”

“Hi dream.” I smile, feeling better. “Lose horribly?”

“Oh yeah,” Dream scoffed. “You know me. Just terrible. Hey, have you met George and Bad, yet?”

“Uh,” Are those the two new people I’ve never met before? “No.”

“Sapnap, did you not introduce anyone? You’re awful.” 

Sapnap makes a noise of offense but is cut off before he can define himself.’

“This is Geroge,” Dream points to the boy with big white sunglasses pushed up onto his hair. The man in question looks up from his phone with a wave. “And that’s Bad.” Dream continues, pointing to the other man. 

_You don’t know Dream and Sapnap, but they looked so happy with their two friends._

_With the exception of foster kids who also go to our school, we never really get a chance to make friends. We move around too much._

_Yet Dream and Sapnap were close enough to two boys for them to wanna drive an hour to watch Dream run a couple of matches._

The six of us hung out outside for about twenty minutes. George was really funny and Bad corrected our cursing every time. It was nice.

“So,” I was still sitting on the bench when Dream separated from the group and sat next to me. “I heard you’re in a new house?”

“Yeah, dipshit, I told you on the discord.”

“I wanted to hear it in person. Tell me about it.”

I shrug. “Three months. Foster dad, no mom, and two foster brothers. One of them is Techno, the kid in there.” I jab my thumb towards the door.

“Technoblade?”

“Thats the bitch.”

Dream grins. “That’s a good kid. I respect him, gives me a good challenge. How’s he treating you?”

“Okay, I guess. I don’t really talk with him or anything.”

Dream hummed. “The best piece of advice I can give you is one I learned through personal experience. Give them a chance. If you remain a shutout, you can't be surprised when you get _shut out_. Sapnap and I opened up to our foster families. We made new friends,” He motioned vaguely to George and Bad who were chatting with Ranboo and Sapnap. “We welcomed the change. Yes, it was risky, some days seemed more worth it than others. And yes it was scary, leaving yourself so open to get hurt. But it was worth it.”

I nod, letting Dream’s words sink in. 

“You don’t have to start now,” He continued. “But you’ve got three months. Use them.”

_Dream and Sapnap look so happy with their new friends and family._

The familiar twinge of jealousy I felt with Tubbo and Niki came back. I wanted a _family_. I love my friends, but I need a solid home I can go to, people I know will be there forever.

“Tommy!”

I look over to see Wilbur at the door again. “Let’s go! We’re leaving.”

_I didn’t want to leave. Who knows when I’ll see Dream and Sapnap again._

“Tommy, remember what I said, okay?” Dream ruffled my hair. “And if you do your best to stick around, my friends and I are gonna be throwing a little party soon in celebration of another successful wrestling season. You and Ranboo are allowed to come as always, let us know if you need rides, I’ll pm you the details. But you can't come if your half a state away.”

_Well, now I know when I’ll see Dream and Sapnap again._

_Leaving is always the hardest part, even if it's just temporarily._

_Attachment issues are a flaw most foster kids have. Call me clingy but it's true. Dream, Sapnap, Ranboo, and you- you’re all the closest thing I’ve had to family._

_I sat in the back of the car on the ride home, listening to Phil congratulate Techno while Wilbur hummed to music._

_Dream’s words echoed through my head as I looked out the window._

_I have a good feeling about this house, Tubbo._

_Love your friend,_

_Tommy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the love on my last chapter you guys! I have big plans for this storyline and I'm excited to show you.....maybe some new pov's next chapter?


	5. day eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wilbur was never patient

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wilbur povvvvvv

“What do you know about Tommy?”

Niki looked up from her phone with a confused glance. “Your foster brother?”

“Yeah. Isn’t he friends with Tubbo?”

Wilbur was at Niki’s house, it was Saturday afternoon, and they had just watched Tubbo run out of the house to go for a walk with a group of kids- one of them being Tommy. 

Niki nodded. “He is. He’s been friends with Tubbo since before Tommy became a foster kid. He’s a good kid, just has a lot of stuff to unpack.”

“He’s taking his sweet time unpacking it.” Wilbur mumbled.

“Will, you were there once too. Try to understand how he feels. He’s just a kid. When you were fostered, it was you and Phil. Imagine how he feels with three new people, all as close as a real biological family.”

“I get that- I just wish he tried to talk with us. He stays in his room the whole time and only talks to us when he’s forced too. Yesterday, at Techno’s game, I thought we finally got somewhere. He was open with me, he asked me for help. But then he saw his friends outside and it went out the window.”

“It sounds frustrating, but Tommy trusts those people more. He asked for help and that's a big step, but now you have to give him time to adjust to that step.”

“I hate that you’re right.” Wilbur groans, leaning back into the sofa. 

“What would you do without my logic?” Niki said with a grin. “Even Tubbo has other friends he’s rather confined in than me, and I’ve known him my whole life. Give the poor boy time. He’s been through a lot.”

Wilbur nodded, before Niki’s words from before caught up to him. “Wait- how long have you known Tommy?!”

Niki laughed. “Maybe ten years? Eleven? I’m not quite sure. Tubbo and Tommy have always been inseparable, even if Tommy is half a country away. They write letters to each other, it’s actually really cute.”

“Ten years? I can’t believe you’ve known my foster brother longer than I have.”

“We don’t talk much anymore,” Niki explains. “Tommy never comes inside, but I remember little toothy grin Tom who went up to my hip. He’s gotta be taller than me now.”

“Oh he definitely is. God- I can’t believe this!”

Niki was fully laughing now, at my expense. 

“This isn’t funny! What other secrets are you hiding?!”

“I’m not hiding any secrets!” 

Wilbur sags into the sofa. “This is ridiculous.”

“You wanted to know about Tommy! I answered you!”

“I was expecting like a fact or two you’ve overheard from Tubbo, not that you’ve known him for over half his life!” He paused. “Wait if you knew him before he was an orphan- what happened to his parents?”

“Not my place to tell.” Niki said, shaking her head. “I’m sure he’ll tell you once he warms up.”

“If he warms up.”

“Tommy has gone through so many foster homes, Will. He’s used to staying until his time is up and then moving on. He doesn't realize yet that Phil doesn't foster just to foster. Phil fosters with the intent to adopt, and when Tommy finds out this isnt temporary, I’m sure he’ll open up. Give him time.”

“I’m inpatient.”

“I know you are.” Niki laughs.

Deep down Will knew Niki was right, but he didn’t want to hear it.

He remembers when Phil first fostered him. It was just Phil and Wilbur, and that was bad enough. He was scared, stressed, and defensive. He had bruises from the past house and flinched at every noise. 

Tommy does the same thing now. None of the family is stupid- the kid isn’t great with makeup. But while Will was in an empty house, there’s always somebody home with Tommy.

Wilbur can only imagine how he feels. 

But Niki was right, Tommy doesn't notice that this isn’t some three month thing yet. Phil spent weeks looking through kids files before picking Tommy. He told Wilbur and Techno it would be a struggle and that they would have to be patient, but patience was never Willbur’s strongest virtue. Tommy reminded him of Techno, when he first came home with Phil. Even though it was a good eight years ago, it was hard to forget. Besides, Phil immortalized it pretty well with photo albums upon photo albums of pictures. A small scrawny pink haired kid, covered in bruises and always held fists at his side, like he’d be ready to last out in defense at any moment.

Wilbur saw the same thing in the new sixteen year old, without the pink hair of course.

“I’m sure it will be fine.” Niki smiled, nudging Wilbur’s shoulder lightly. “Give him time. Just be open, make sure Tommy knows he can hang out with you or something.”

“Or something.”

“Hey!” Niki laughs. “I’m trying to help you, Will. Try hanging out with him one on one. The group of four might be overwhelming.”

Wilbur paused for a moment, thinking. Phil worked late on Sundays and Techno had a late practice tomorrow night. It would be just him and Tommy home. Maybe- “If you know so much about Tommy, does he happen to have a favorite movie or genre?”

“Anything but horror. He won't admit it though.”

Wilbur nodded. “Sounds good.”

“You making a plan?” Niki asks. “I can see those gears turning in your head.”

“Maybe.” 

Wilbur was gonna get to know his brother better, if it was the last thing he did.

Even if the sixteen year old didn’t exactly see him as a brother yet. 

Yet. 

“Just be patient, Wilbur. Even though it might kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short update bc I'm testing the multi pov waters


	6. days nine and ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> strangers to family 2k slow burn angst
> 
> AJKSDJ I THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNY IGNORE ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont have a life wednesdays so lol two updates a day also bc I love this chapter so much 
> 
> tommy pov

The house was, for the most part, quiet. I was typing on my laptop with Tubbo, and everyone else was offline. Phil was at work still, and Techno was at wrestling practice. The only sounds were Wilbur softly playing his guitar down the hall. 

It was a slow Sunday night, I had already finished my homework (without procrastinating for once) and had nothing to do. 

**Tubbo** 6.57pm

i’m gonna go do homework now, i’ll msg you when im done or maybe later

I sigh, falling backward on my bed before replying.

**Tommy** 6.58pm

all good big man gl on your work

There goes my entertainment. 

I look around my room. In the nine days I’ve lived here, Phil and I have bought a couple of decorations. Will had given me his old bedspread so I didn’t have the boring grey comforter anymore. The room may _look_ more customized, but it's not personalized. It wasn’t _my_ room. 

_Tubbo, I’ve never really gotten to decorate a room before. I don’t even know what I would do. The only true example I have is your room to lead by. You’ve got childhood toys in the closet, and pictures of friends and family on the walls._

_I’ve got an unpacked bag of literally everything I own in the closet, and a clock set on the wrong time on the wall._

_I don’t even know_ how _I’d decorate my own room._

“Tommy? Are you hungry? I can make dinner!” Wilbur is in the kitchen now, I’ve gotten pretty good and being able to tell where somebody is based on the direction of their voice. 

_I don’t trust Wilbur’s cooking. At all. Just a fun fact. There are probably many reasons he still lives with his dad, but I’m positive his lack of life skills is the biggest reason. Still, I’m hungry, man. I’ll risk it._

“What are we eating?” I ask, stepping into the kitchen. 

Wilbur steps away from the stove. “Uh- boxed mac and cheese. It’s all I can do.”

I feel a smile tug at my lips. “It’s the thought that counts, innit?”

_I like Wilbur. He’s nice. Techno and Phil are too, but Phil worries too much and Techno doesn't talk to me. Wilbur just treats me normally. He doesn't act like I’m a weird foster kid, if anything he treats me like a friend he’s invited over or something._

_I don’t know how to act when he gets all affectionate n shit, but that can be ignored for now._

“Do you have any plans for tonight?” Wilbur asks, leaning on the kitchen island as I sat down. 

“No, why?”

“Phil and Techno won't be here till later. Was wondering if you wanted to join me for a movie or something?”

I shrug. “Sounds fun.”

“Great!” Wilbur beamed. “You can pick the movie, I don’t have a preference." The man had a bad habit of rambling sometimes. "I mean, I’ll probably be doing homework while we watch anyway and-”

“Wilbur?”

“Yes, Tommy?”

“The pasta is over boiling.”

Wilbur quickly spun around to the pot on the stove, with water bubbling out. I grinned at the string of curse words that followed as Wilbur turned down the heat and tried fixing the situation. 

“You’re funny.”

“Oh yeah, laugh it up, Toms. This is your dinner too.”

_I’m warming up, slowly. I’m equally proud of myself and disappointed._

_Dream’s words are familiar, but it's been embedded into me not to care. To stay shut out._

_Yet here I am laughing with Wilbur._

_It’s nice, Tubbo._ _  
_ _It’s nowhere near as funny as when I’m with you and Ranboo, but I’m not scared to leave my room or joke around with my foster brothers._

_It’s scary._

_But it feels nice._

* * *

“That was a _horrible_ movie, Wilbur.”

“You wouldn't pick so I just hit one randomly! I told you to pick.”

“I’m embarrassed for you.”

“ _Tommy_ -” Wilbur started, but he fell short after failing to come up with a threat. 

I grin, turning off the TV. “What time will everyone else be home?”

Wilbur checked the time. “Uhh, Techno went to a friend's house after practice so about forty-five minutes and Phil will be home in an hour, assuming no traffic. Why?”

I shrug. “M’ bored.”

Wilber paused for a moment. “Do you play an instrument or anything?”

“I took piano lessons in third grade- why?”

Wilbur shrugged. “Just trying to think of a topic to talk about. I wanna find out what we have in common. Not music, apparently.”

I grinned. “I can still listen though. You’re good at the guitar, I like it.”

“You think?” Wilbur asked.

“Mhm,” I nod. “I can hear it from my room.” Wilbur looked like he was trying very hard not to aw. I rolled my eyes. “It’s just a compliment.”

“And it’s very sweet. Thank you, Tommy.”

“I’m starting to regret it.”

Wilbur smiled. “Wait here.”

“I- what?” 

Wilbur didn’t clarify as he pushed himself off the sofa, running upstairs to his room. 

“Wilbur?”

“Hold on!”

Just as quickly, I heard him barreling back downstairs, guitar in hand.

“Oh god, I’m never complimenting you again.” I groan, leaning my head back. My complaints were hindered by the grin on my face as Wilbur sat next to me again, strumming the guitar. 

_I never understood the whole, ‘music is calming’ thing. Maybe it’s the type of music I listen to, but I never really felt totally relaxed._

_But Wilbur playing the guitar was different._

_Even as I go to bed at night, I can hear him practicing quietly through the walls and it's comforting._

_I kinda had an epiphany moment that night._

_Like, everything Dream said, made sense._

_I came out of my room, I opened myself up, and I had a good night with Wilbur._

_I may be here for 3 months, but it’s just gonna go by longer if I count the days._

_I’m gonna enjoy these three months._

I didn’t even notice I was yawning until I had my head on Wilburs shoulder as he played. 

“You tired?”

“No,” I lied. “It’s only like nine.”

“I think you’re tired.”

I shake my head, but don’t sit up. Wilbur just kept playing softly, humming along with the tune.

* * *

_I woke up the next morning in my bed, still wearing my clothes from the night before, but I don’t remember ever falling asleep. I can’t recall if I fell asleep on the sofa, or walked myself up to my room, but Wilbur didn’t bring it up at breakfast the next morning, so I’m grateful._

_I dunno if it's a mindset thing, but this morning was a lot better than the past. I felt more awake, the kitchen felt more lively, and the food tasted better._

_It’s probably always been that way, but I wasn’t looking before. I had my eyes on the floor and refused to talk in conversation._

* * *

“I’ve made a decision,” I say. I’m at the lunch table with Ranboo and Tubbo, who both lookup.

“Which is?” Ranboo prompts.

“I’m gonna actually try and stay. For the three months.” 

“That’s good!” Tubbo grins. “I’m proud of you.”

“They’re good?” Ranboo asks.

“They’re good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soft boys hours


	7. day eleven and letter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst? yeah lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy pov

A lot of kids at school walk through the halls with earbuds in and eyes to the ground. If I had a phone and earbuds, maybe that’d be me. But it’s not.

I walk with my head up, keeping to the side, and only making unwanted eye contact when I have to.

I wave to kids who also came from the home, there’s a lot of us in this school, but I try not to talk to anyone else. 

Ranboo and I were the oldest in the home, with the exception of a few seniors. We were the only two juniors with all the other foster kids being underclassmen. I remember looking up to the other kids, excitedly waving when I saw Dream or Sapnap in the hall, and thinking I was so cool to have them wave back. 

And I know there are some kids now who feel the same, so I make it a point to smile and wave. 

To everyone else though? I avoid eye contact at all costs. 

Even now as I walked, I knew Techno was walking only a couple feet away- we had the same study hall destination- but I kept my eyes forward. 

_ I never really noticed how many classes I had with Techno until now. He was never on my radar. Yet I pass him all the time in the hall, we have the same lunch period, we even sit next to each other in the study hall for god's sake.  _

_ Even Wilbur- his friend is Niki and you’re my friend, Tubbo, we run into each other outside of school all the time, and I just never noticed. _

Study hall is in the library, so I step into the room and make my way to the table I sit at, Techno obviously heading in the same direction.

I nod to him as we both sit, but neither of us says anything. We never do. Techno keeps to himself, on his phone, or in his room. I don’t mind of course. It’s nice to have two foster brothers who are so different. I’d probably just leave if there were two loud and overbearing Wilburs, but I’d be bored out of my mind with two distant Technos. 

I didn’t have any homework to do or tests to study for, so I pulled out my familiar notebook and pen. 

I had my laptop, if I really wanted to talk to Tubbo I could just message him, but he’s in class right now.

So I did what I do best when I’m bored.

_ Where was I?  _

_ Oh right. _

_ I never really noticed how often I see my foster family.  _

_ Like, I knew we lived in a small town but jc, yknow? _

“What are you writing?” 

I look up to see Technoblade watching me. His phone is in his hand but the fact that it’s not on hints that he’s just as bored as I am.

“A letter.”

He makes a face. “Is that a school project or-” He pauses. “Who writes letters anymore?”

“I do.” I shrug. “They’re fun, you should try one maybe.”

“Alright.”

“Huh?”

Techno motions to the notebook. “Give me a piece of paper.”

“Who are you going to write to?” I ask, pulling a sheet out of the notebook and slipping it across the table.

“I don’t know yet.”

I shrug, turning back to my letter.

_ Techno is mysterious, but as I get to know him better I learn that it's less of a ‘shrouded in secrets’ and more of a ‘he doesn't even know what's going on either'.  _

_ You’d like him, Tubbo. He’s funny.  _

_ I mean, I’m sure you and Ranboo will be meeting him since I’ll be here for all three months. _

_ Wait! _

_ I just realized!  _

_ I actually have a home and a room for these 90 days!  _

_ That means we have somewhere to hang out that's not the park or a Mcdonald's.  _

_ That is if Phil lets me have people over. _

_ But Wilbur and Techno have people over all the time, so hopefully, it won't be an issue. _

_ Maybe you two can help me decorate my room. _

_ I think I’ll ask Wilbur or Techno what they think before I ask Phil. For some reason asking them for things seems a lot less scary than Phil. Not that Phil is scary- I guess it's just the man of the household or smth that's unnerving. _

I look up to Techno but he’s writing away, apparently deciding who his letter is for. 

_ So I didn’t ask Techno.  _

_ I will later.  _

_ Today is the eleventh day I’ve been here. Three months doesn't seem like much, but it boils down to 90 days. Some days go faster than others.  _

_ In the past, when the home got too full and I was shoved into a ‘long term family’ it seemed unbearable because there was no time limit.  _

_ I just had to suck up until the time was right. _

_ But knowing it's 90 days- it gives me something to look forward to.  _

_ Yeah, Phil and his kids are nice but in some fucked way I miss the home. Sharing a room with people I trusted, seeing Ranboo all the time, following a constant scheduel- idk  _ **_not being stuck with total strangers_ ** **.**

_ I am trying to be more open with the family, but some days are easier than others. _

_ I guess dreams do say that would happen, though.  _

I didn’t have much more to say, so I flipped the page and doodled until the bell rang.

Just as silently as we arrived, Techno and I left without saying goodbye.

* * *

“Is this a common thing?”

Wilbur looked at me. “Huh?”

“Phil working late, Techno at practice, and your awful cooking.”

Will laughed. “It's almost the end of Techno’s season, he’ll either be at practice or with wrestling friends every night for the next couple weeks and Phil works late all year round on weekdays so- yeah.”

“I’m cooking next time,” I say, placing my bowl in the sink. “I refuse to live off burnt boxed mac and cheese.”

“It is not  _ burnt _ .”

“Mhmm. Sure, Wilbur.” I walk out of the kitchen and begin to head up to my room.

“Hey! Get back here you ungrateful gremlin!” Wilbur raced after me.

I gasped, quickly picking up speed as I logged into my room and slamming the door behind me. “Why are you fast?!”

“You should be faster.” Wilbur opened the door with a grin.

I didn’t lock the door all the time anymore and I  _ definitely _ didn’t have the time to do it with long legs behind me. 

“Your room is so dark,” Wilbur comments, the chase totally forgotten. “Why don’t you turn on lights?”

I shrug and Wilbur hits the light switch. “It was bright out earlier and I had the windows open.”

“Oh thank god somebody else in this family does. Techno’s got black-out curtains closed 25/8 and the only time Phil is even in his room is to sleep. Those bedrooms have never seen the light of day.”

“You talk a lot, Wilbur.”

“Someone’s gotta. And it’s not you or Techno.”

“It’s funny you say that. My friends can’t get me to shut up.”

“Oh yeah?” Wilbur sat across from me on my bed. “You’ve got friends? Hard to believe-”

“Hey!”

“-when am I meeting them?”

“You already know Tubbo, and do you think Phil would allow me to have two people over. You should meet Ranboo.”

“You don’t even have to ask. I know Phil will love to meet them.”

_ That answers my question from earlier.  _

_ We can make plans in lunch or on discord or something.  _

“What's this?”

Wilbur nudges my backpack with his foot.

I threw it on the floor when I got home instead of in the closet because I knew I’d need to do my homework anyway.

“My school bag.”

“You’re school bag has a laptop, change of clothes, and a sheet of stamps? Just from what I can see right now where it's unzipped.”

Fuck.

I have no clue how I’m gonna get myself out of this one. 

Will Wilbur be mad if I tell him the truth?

_ Oh yeah, no big deal. I just don't trust any of you fully at this point so I keep all my belongings in one small bag just in case I need to grab and go. No big deal, just a pretty effective tactic I’ve had embedded into me. _

“Tommy?”

“It’s uh- well. Like-” Dream’s voice echoed in my head.  _ Give them a chance. If you remain a shutout, you can’t be surprised when you get  _ shut out _ ’ _ I took a deep breath. “It’s a habit- to not unpack n shit. I never stay in a house long enough to unpack anyway and if I needed to run on short notice, having everything there-” I motion to the bag. “It feels convenient.”

Wilbur's mouth formed a silent ‘o’. He didn’t look mad- thankfully. He looked more dejected if anything. 

_ Somehow that made me feel worse. I mean, I’m used to upsetting people. But that's people I don’t care about. Foster homes I’ve been in for three days. Yet my heart sunk and I looked away from Wilbur.  _

_ This blows Tubbo. Why is opening up so hard? _

“I know that it's habit and stuff but-” Wilbur paused. “You don’t have to worry about that stuff here. Needing to run away on short notice. I- you’re safe, alright?” Wilbur got up, and gently picked up the bag, zipping it up and putting it on my desk. “You don’t have to unpack it or anything but you’re safe. I understand. It may have been like nine years ago- but I was in your spot once too. I’m here if you need to talk.”

_ I hate emotions. Fuck this. Jc jc jc.  _

“Okay.” I say softly. 

Wilbur walked over to the door but paused before leaving. “No one is mad, in case you were worried. You’re okay.”

_ I was not worried. But it did make me feel better to know Wilbur wasn’t taking it to heart. _

_ God, Tubbo why do I care so much?  _

_ I really said ‘fine maybe I’ll stay' and now I’m fucked.  _

_ Now I know what Dream mean when he said some days were harder than others.  _

_ He didn’t mean some days will be scary. Some days the family will be mean and it’s not worth it. _

_ He meant learning to open up is hard. Making yourself vulnerable is so much harder when you know it's gonna hurt. _

_ Today may have been rough, but for an overall first eleven days? I think it’s going well. _

I look at the bag on my desk. 

Fuck.

_ Until next time, _

_ Love Tommy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a small taste of angst


	8. letter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: I write all these chapters while listening to the blurryface top album and I think it shows
> 
> tommy pov

_ Dear Tubbo, _

_ Wilbur never told anyone about the backpack, which is nice.  _

_ That’s what- two times now? If I ever get on his bad side I’m fucked. _

_ Irrelevant.  _

_ The past week has been really busy and I haven't really had time to write to you.  _

_ That never happens.  _

_ As you know, because you’ve seen it in person, I now own a smartphone. _

_ Which is wild. _

“Are you sure? I might break it. Accidentally of course I just never had one before and-”

“Yes, Tommy.” Phil held out the box. “I want you to have it. That way you can call me if you need something, or keep in touch with Wilbur and Techno. With all those walks you go on I would like to have a line of communication.”

“But what if-”

“We’ll buy a case.” Phil smiled. “It won't break.”

I took the box.

_ People buying stuff for me feels weird.  _

_ I’m used to the bare minimum, but this family is going out of their way to give me things that aren't necessities.  _

_ Like- Wilbur got me a red shirt that reminded him of me (it looks just like my backpack and I think that's why).  _

_ I’m not used to it.  _

_ Anyway, the phone is handy. Discord is a lot more accessible when you’ve got service all the time.  _

I was walking with Ranboo and other foster kids, showing them my phone when I got a discord message.

**Dream** 4.57pm

Call me crazy or does tommy's status show he’s active on a phone

**Sapnap** 4.57pm

Crazy

Oh shit wait

More messages quickly came in from others and I laughed. “I forgot to tell them.”

“Well, they know now.” Ranboo grinned. 

“I’ll talk to them later. Let me show you this feature.”

_ The slow process of opening up to my foster family continues.  _

_ I’ve gotten somewhat used to the loud gymnasium during Techno’s meets. I’m excited to go to them now, and on some of the matches that are neck and neck, I find myself cheering for Techno just as loudly as the two men on each side of me.  _

_ Sometimes I catch myself humming Wilbur’s songs as I do homework, or cook dinner. (Wilbur isn’t allowed to anymore.) They’re catchy, but also comforting. I just can’t do it around Will or he won't let me hear the end of it. _

“That toon sounds familiar, Toms. Where’d you learn it?”

“Shut up.”

“Awww,  _ Tommy. _ Don’t be embarrassed, I know it’s a good song.”

“You and your ego needed to knock it off or I’m not giving you dinner.”

Wilbur tsks. “Oh no, empty threats. What will I do?” He drones sarcastically. 

_ Wilbur is easy to talk to. (And to make fun of). If he needs to, he’ll carry the conversation no problem, letting you just listen. It is comforting. _

_ Techno on the other hand has the same lack of communication skills as me. It’s almost funny. _

_ But sometimes there is even more to say in a comforting silence.  _

_ Phil is a healthy mix.  _

_ He has this way of promoting a conversation out of you without you even knowing it. Before- I found it annoying, the way every sentence gave him a new question for me to keep talking about. But now I find myself talking with him for hours about anything and everything.  _

_ He worries a lot though. _

“I think we need a curfew for you.”

Phil is sitting on the sofa in the living room as I walk through the door.

“What?”

“You’re not in trouble.” He assured me. “I just get nervous. Some of your walks are ten minutes, others are two hours. I never know when you’re coming home and I worry a bit. Y’know?”

I swallow. Talk of curfews brought up a lot of memories about the old foster house. The unfairly early curfew and the pain that came with missing it. 

The code red that came with missing it.

“What time do you think seems fair? I wanna form it around your walks so I’m not disturbing your day. It’s just for my peace of mind, mate.” Phil asked.

Maybe this curfew will be different?

_ All my bruises are healed.  _

_ That’s pog.  _

_ I get to wake up later since I’m not rushing to apply concealer.  _

_ I still flinch a bit when Techno goes to put his hand on my shoulder, or stiffen when Will pulls me into a hug, but it's a subconscious thing. _

_ I’ve learned they won't hurt me. _

There’s a knock on my door, making me look up from my letter.

“It’s unlocked.”

I turn around as Techno pops his head in. “Movie downstairs at five. Phil is just finishing the popcorn.”

“Is Wilbur picking the movie?”

“God, no.”

“Then I’ll be there.”

_ I gotta go, but as always I’ll write later. For now, there's a spot between an old man and a loud musician on the sofa waiting for me.  _

_ Until next time,  _

_ Love Tommy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short lil filler chapter bc some of you have gotten too comfortable and have forgotten that there is an angst tag in here
> 
> lol not to threaten you or anything


	9. day twenty-six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy did what tommy does best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in one day because I love you.  
> remember to drink some water!
> 
> Tommy pov

_ Today was a bad day from the start. _

_ My alarm didn’t go off, I woke up late, and I had to ride in with Phil and Techno. Which wasn't like- a bad thing but you know I like my time to think _ .

“So, what’s on your calendar for today, Tommy?”

Please stop talking to me. I’m tired, I woke up late, and I would just like to zone out and think.

“Uh, nothing much! What about you, Phil?” I say anyway. 

“Oh you know- the usual, mate! I’m working late so I won't see you till later but Techno doesn't have practice, right Tech?”

The pink-haired boy in the passenger seat nods. 

“So if you want a break from making dinner, I’m sure Techno wouldn’t mind.” Phil continues. He rambles on for the entire rest of the car ride. 

_ Because I was driven in, I didn’t get to see you or Rna Boo that morning, and ofc because luck has never been on my side I had a meeting with my math teacher at lunch and i couldn't see you then. _

“Tommy, your grades have been slipping.”

“I’m a-”

“Foster kid, I know. That’s your favorite card. I understand your outside school life is hard and you may not have time to study, but you’re in danger of failing.”

“Oh.”

Fuck.

If I failed math, I’d have to retake it next year- and I don’t wanna sit in math class if Tubbo or Ranboo aren’t there to suffer next to me. 

My teacher turned her grade book to me, pointing out my line. “You’re a diligent student, Tommy. You do your homework. But your test grades show you clearly don’t understand. And that's not a bad thing. But I would like to know how I can help. Do you need extra help? I stay after every Wednesday, including today. Or I could email home and recommend you for a tutor, but I don’t want to do that.”

“Please don’t.” I don’t wanna disappoint Phil or something. “I’ll get my grades up. Promise.”

“I hope you do.”

_ The bell rang before I could go to lunch.  _

_ The rest of the day was pretty shit too, but nothing compared to when I got home. _

_ I’m not used to having a phone, and I keep leaving it places. In class, in the locker room, on a table. _

_ Around halfway through the day, I noticed it was missing and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach all day. _

“Oh thank fuck there it is,” I mumble as I walk into my room and see my phone face down on my bed. “I’m gonna get myself in trouble for forgetting it all the time.”

There were at least a hundred discord notifications at the top, prioritizing itself over my texts from Phil of the group chat with my foster family.

I bite my thumb, unlocking my phone, and leaving my room.

I’m looking at the screen and not paying attention, but I know the layout of the house pretty well by now. It’s been twenty-six days, that's the longest I’ve stayed somewhere in a long time.

Anyway, I know where I’m going as I make my way down the hall. Just a straight couple feet then some stairs. I have bigger issues to worry about.

Like the fact that I was pinged twenty-nine days today. 

What the hell happened?

There are a handful of messages from Tubbo, but I go to the foster discord first. I click the general channel at the same time as I walk into a solid force.

What the fuck?

_ Let me paint the picture for you Tubbo.  _

_ I, was stupid and believed I could look at my phone and be fine bc I knew the way. _

_ Wilbur, was stupid and believed he could look at his guitar and be fine because he knew the way.  _

_ And since Wilbur’s door is right by the stairs, and I bumped into his as he left his room- _

“Jesus!”

I dropped my phone as I stumbled, reaching out for the wall as I slip where the stairs start. Wilbur tipped forward too, letting go of the instrument in his hands to catch himself on the railing and grabbing my shoulder to stop me too. 

“You okay?” He asks, his hand still on me even though we’re both steady.

_ We only stumbled a couple of steps but _ **_fuck_ ** _ was that scary.  _

_ It’s not the worst part. _

Wilbur lets go of me and I cringe, spotting my phone a couple steps down, screen completely shattered.

Oh fuck.

Was Phil gonna be mad?

He got me something nice, I’ve had it for two weeks and I ruin it.

Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

My tunnel vision on the phone is broken by a gasp from Will at the bottom of the stairs.

His guitar, which he had dropped (my fault), was lying on the ground (my fault) with the top right peg broken off my impact. My fault

Fuck.

Fuck.

Suddenly the phone didn’t seem like a big deal anymore.

The heartbroken look on Wilbur’s face as he picked up the broken instrument was.

It’s my fault.

My fault. My fault.

“What the hell Tommy? Why don’t you look where you're going?”

_ I wanted to yell back. ‘You didn’t either or maybe even just fucking apologize.  _

_ But my mind was shutting down. _

_ This is familiar. _

_ I’ve been here before. _

_ Getting yelled at for an accident.  _

_ Breaking something that wasn’t mine.  _

_ Getting too comfortable and over welcoming my stay. _

_ Wilbur was still yelling, but I couldn’t tell you if it was at me or the situation. _

_ My brain wasn’t picking up his words, just his body language. _

_ There may have been a flight of stairs between us, but he has long legs. His shoulders were back and his body was tense. _

_ Anger. _

_ He’s mad. _

_ You're at fault. _

_ Run. _

“What’s going on?”

Technoblade had left his room at the noise and was now behind me.

_ I felt cornered. _

_ Too many people. _

_ The rational part of my brain tried talking, like- oh will is just upset. His dissent means it. These are your brothers, they won't hurt you. _

_ But the rational part is never louder than instinct. _

**_Foster_ ** _ brothers. _

_ Will is upset at you. _

_ You’re at fault. _

_ Look where you’re going next time. _

_ Your fault. _

_ Run. _

I push past Techno and into my room, the broken phone on the floor long forgotten. 

I lock the door behind me as my mind runs on a familiar autopilot.

My breaths are short and there’s a buzzing in my ear. I can’t hear anything real. Just static.

_ I didn’t know what to do. _

_ So I did what I do best when I’m cornered in potential danger. _

I grab my bag from my closet- still packer just for this reason, and open the window with the tree just outside.

_ I ran. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see? not t h a t bad


	10. day twenty-seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wilbur pov

“What’s going on?” Technoblade repeats himself, walking down the stairs. “Will? You’re just staring emptily at your guitar. What happ-” His eyes fall to the peg, broken clean off the neck. The only thing still holding onto the guitar is the string. “Oh.”

It’s not as bad as Wilbur originally though. He got scared and freaked out. 

“It can be fixed, right?”

“Yeah. Just gonna be a bitch to pay for. But hey,” Wilbur looked up to meet Techno’s eyes. “I wanted a new one anyway.” He glanced to the top of the stairs, but Tommy wasn't there. “I should apologize.”

Techno pats his shoulder before stepping past Wilbur. “I’ll handle dinner, you handle our brother.”

_ Our brother. _

The phrase felt so right to the two of them. They’d been wanting Phil to foster again for years. A cat, a child,  _ anything _ .

The house was always so quiet before, and Tommy fixed that. It took him a while to warm up, but now he’s the loudest one here. And that’s a good thing. His jokes were funny and his smile was infectious.

Will remembers in the first few weeks when Tommy said his friends couldn't get him to shut up. He understood that now, but wouldn't have it any other way.

...he shouldn't have yelled at Tommy.

“Tommy?” Wilbur asked softly, knocking on the younger boy's door. 

It was silent inside.

“Listen, I Know your mad or upset or whatever and that’s totally okay. But please just unlock the door?”

Nothing.

“Show me some sign that you’re at least okay? Then you can go back to ignoring me?”

Still nothing.

Wilbur’s stomach sank.

This felt wrong. Something told him Tommy wasn’t just ignoring him. “Tommy?” He jiggled the doorknob, but as expected, it was locked. “Are you okay?”

Silence. Not even the sounds of moving around or crying. 

“Techno, are you sure Tommy went into his room?” 

Techno appeared at the bottom of the stairs. “Is he ignoring you?”

“It’s dead silent in that room. I don’t think he's so- I wanna make sure he’s okay.”

Techno quickly made his way up the stairs at the sounds of panic in Wilbur’s voice. “Tommy this isn’t funny.” He said, twisting the doorknob with the same results Wilbur had.

“Don’t fucking threaten him, he’s scared.” Wilbur hissed.

Techno stepped back in though. “Stay here. Phil made sure all the doors have the same lock and in case of emergency, the key is  _ somewhere _ in his room. No clue, but I’ll find it.”

“Well fucking hurry,” Wilbur mumbled before turning back to the door. “Tom, please. You’re scaring us.”

* * *

The second Techno got the door open and unlocked, something was obviously wrong.

It was cold. 

Too cold.

Despite being a cloudy and windy day, the window was wide open.

And Tommy was gone.

Wilbur didn’t know what to say as he silently pushed past Techno and into the room, checking under the desk- behind the door, beneath the bed- like maybe Tommy was hiding.

“He ran away.” Techno was the first to bluntly break the silence of the room.

And those three words felt even colder than the air surrounding him.

“No, no he didn’t. He’s just- he-”

“Wilbur.”

“No!” Will shook his head. “I yelled at him- he couldn’t have- it's because of me, I-”

“Hey, hey.” Techno was across the room in an instant. “This isn’t your fault. We all ran away at one point as foster kids. I was out of here every two weeks, remember?” 

Wilbur laughed weakly.

“Tommy is okay. I’m gonna call Phil, we’ll go from there, okay? There’s no way he got far.”

Wilbur nodded, looking back around the room as Techno pulled out his phone.

Tommy’s closet was haphazardly thrown open and-

Wilbur sucked in a breath.

“He took the bag.”

Techno lowered his phone. “What?”

“Tommy- he had this backpack, will all his belongings- the one he takes to school- he told me he never unpacked it. He said it was easier to just grab it if he ever needed to run n shit and I-  _ I told him he wouldn't need it.  _ I told him it’d be okay- I told him he was safe and that he could always come to me and-  _ and I’m the reason he left _ -”

“Woah- woah.” Techno put his phone back in his pocket and pulled his older brother into a hug. 

* * *

“The cops can’t do anything for twenty-four hours and they don’t sound the slighe=test bit worried based on Tommy's record.” Phil wasn’t even fully out of his car yet before he was dishing out the game plan to his two boys on the front porch. “All we can do now is walk around town looking for him, Will call Niki to see if Turbo has heard from him, check the spots a teenager would hide, and wait.”

Techno frowned. “Tommy’s done this before. I’m sure he’s got well-hidden spots.”

“I know,” Phil whispered, climbing the porch steps and pulling his sons in a hug. “But we have to try.”

Wilbur didn’t say anything. What could he say? When the three of them pulled away, he instantly called Niki. 

She picked up on the third ring. “Wilbur?”

“Have you seen Tommy?” Wilbur was aware he sounded like shit. His throat was blank and his mind was processing anything other than Tommy. His little brother, who ran away, because of him.

“No, why? Tubbo didn’t walk with him either, he’s been in his room all day. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. If you hear anything tell me.”

* * *

“It’s ten pm on a Wednesday. We can’t stay out here.” Phil said. “C’mon. Tommy will come back when he’s ready, I know it. We can talk with the cops tomorrow.” 

“No, we have to keep looking.” Wilbur mumbled. He tried to keep walking, but Phil grabbed his arm.

“Mate.”

Techno stayed home to make dinner and see if Tommy came back, and Wilbur and Phil had been wandering the streets for the better of three hours. 

“You’re exhausted, let's get home.” Phil prompted gently.

Wilbur allowed his dad to guide him down the street without a fight. After a while, he spoke. “You’re not mad?”

“Oh,” Phil laughed, but it wasn’t very funny. “I’m pissed. But we all need to keep level heads for Tommy, no matter what our emotion is.”

Wilbur knew that was a subtle clue on Phil’s part to get his shit together, but he just nodded. 

Phil knew what he was doing, Will knew that.

But sometimes he forgot just how well Phil knew what he was doing. 

As Techno said, Phil’s two sons had their own fair shares of running away. 

Phil had experience. He knew how to handle this.

Wilbur allowed himself to be guided into his house by his father before the autopilot took over and he walked upstairs, ignoring the dejected look on Techno’s face when they came back empty-handed.

“Wilbur, dinner?” Phill asked as he left.

“No hunger.”

Wilbur climbed the steps slowly before spotting a phone, face-up, on the second to last step. 

_ Tommy’s. _

His guitar wasn’t the only thing that broke.

But he was the only one who yelled.

Wilbur didn’t sleep much that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wish i could say im sorry but I'm really not
> 
> that's for all the support on this fic btw!! I'm glad you all love it as much as I do! favorite part so far?


	11. day twenty-eight and letter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy comes home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure why this chapter was so hard to write but I definitely dragged my feet doing it 
> 
> tommy pov

_ I didn’t mean to run away. _

_ Listen- I know that sounds fucking stupid but I wasn’t thinking, Tubbo. My mind was on autopilot.  _

_ I had gotten halfway across town when I realized what I was doing, and I just didn’t have the pride to turn around and go back. _

_ Getting caught may be scary, but nothing is more embarrassing than returning yourself, admitting that you did wrong and that you overreacted. _

_ Phil and his sons were so nice to me, all Wilbur did was fucking yell a bit- and I ran.  _

_ What if they didn’t want me back? _

_ I’ve been sent back to the home under the guise of ‘too much of a handful’ before. _

_ I don’t wanna go back. It’s a new feeling, but I don’t want to go back to the home.  _

_ But whatever comes to me is gonna be my fault I guess. _

I drag my feet as I walk through the familiar neighborhood.

It’s on a hill, with Phil’s house being at the top and a couple roads in. 

Hell of a walk when you’re tired and walking home from school, but it feels even harder today. I only got about an hour of sleep on the park bench. 

_ I don’t even know if they want me back. What's the point in going back if I’ll just get returned to the home _ again?

I cross over a block onto Phil’s road. I can see part of the house from here, the green-grey paint standing out amongst the other row houses on the block. 

Suddenly I’m walking even slower.

_ Turning myself in may be embarrassing, but is it worth it if I’m just gonna be asked to leave? I already have everything I own with me, what if I walked myself back to the foster home? How bad would it truly be, Tubbo? It’s like- late afternoon on a Thursday, all the foster kids are in school, nobody would have to see my walk of shame from another failed house. _

I almost step to turn around when I see somebody run down the porch steps and into the yard.

_ Wilbur _ .

He’s seen me, that much is fucking obvious. 

I can’t see his face from where he’s stood with the sun creating shades on his face, but I know its him, with the stupid beanie and the way he towers over the short decorative fencing. 

Is he mad?

I was too far away to tell. 

_ I was scared, more than anything in that moment. Not of Wilbur- or anybody who may be waiting for me at the top of that hill, but of what happened once I returned to Phil’s house.  _

_ Would I be in trouble? Would I be returned?  _

I was so zoned out I didn’t even notice I was still walking, with Wilbur heading right for me. 

At first, I panicked, but I could see his face more clear now. 

He didn’t look mad at all. If anything he looked- worried.

I stopped walking. 

_ I’ve never had anyone worry for me, Tubbo. Well, no, that’s not true. There are lots of people who worry for me. But that’s you, Ranboo, Dream- etc. I’ve never had a foster family worry about me.  _

_ Yet there stood Wilbur, with eyebags and tear streaks.  _

“Tommy?” 

Wilbur had stopped walking closer when he realized I stopped moving, too. 

“Are you hurt? You’re crying, I-”

_ It appears I have started crying, Tubbo. I didn’t even realize.  _

I wanted to close the distance between us. I felt like there wasn’t enough distance. I wanted to go home. Which home? I don't know. There was so much I had to say but I couldn't think of words for any of it. So Wilbur went first.

“Listen, Tommy- I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, I really shouldn't have and it wasn’t fair on you. I’m sorry. You don’t have to accept my apology, you don’t even need to talk to me. But please come home? We’re all so worried.  _ Please, Toms _ .”

_ The fucking nickname is gonna kill me. _

_ And in that moment, I forgot why I ran, I forgot why I was worried. I didn’t see a frustrated Wilbur, whose guitar broke, I didn’t see a risk of being sent back.  _

_ I saw a brother.  _

_ I saw my brother. _

Wilbur made a noise of surprise as I closed the gap between us, hugging him tightly. 

He stumbled backward a bit but after a couple of startled seconds, I felt his arms wrap around me too. 

“Oh, Tommy.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” The mantra of apologies was the only thing I could think of as I tucked my head into Wilbur’s neck. 

Maybe if I apologize I won't get sent back.

The thought only made me squeeze harder. 

Wilbur didn’t say anything as he pulled me closer. 

I’m not sure how long we stood there, at some point we had sunk to the ground because when I finally pulled away from Will, we were sitting in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Ready to go home, Toms?”

I tensed. “I’m not in trouble, am I?”

“Oh go no, Tommy. We’re all just worried. Trust me, Techno and I ran plenty when we were your age too.” Wilbur reassured, helping me up. “Just to be prepared, Phil is gonna fuss over you to make sure you’re okay, then probably reduce your curfew for a week- he’s not great at punishments, it will last for three days- and fuss some more.”

“Okay,” I mumble as we begin walking. “Thanks for the heads up.”

* * *

_ I severely underestimate just how much fussing Phil would do.  _

_ Even Techno looked a little worried, trying to lighten the air with a ‘baby’s first runaway’ joke.  _

_ But I wasn’t getting sent back to the home. _

_ Things were tense tho. It felt like I had just been relocated again, with everyone walking on eggshells so as not to upset me.  _

“Let’s watch a movie, hm?” Phil suggested. “It’s only like seven but you lot do have school tomorrow, no matter what. And I assume none of you slept well last night so early bedtime.”

“Tomorrow is Friday why can't we just have an early weekend after some traumatizing events?” Wilbur complained. 

He and Techno tried bargaining with Phil over school tomorrow while I stayed quiet. 

I kinda wanted to go to school tomorrow, there was a lot I needed to tell Ranboo and Tubbo. And I still didn’t know what happened to have blown up my phone the night before.

Oh. 

My phone.

“Phil?”

I winced a bit as all three pairs of eyes suddenly turned to me, the debate about school tomorrow dying. 

“Yes, mate?”

“I uh- my phone, it uh-”

“I saw.” He smiled softly. “And it’s okay. The screen only broke, it still works. And if you want we can get that replaced.”

Oh thank god, he wasn’t mad about the phone.

_ We watched a movie Techno picked out, but instead of my normal spot on the sofa wedges between Phil and Wilbur, Phil sat on the other couch with Techno, giving me space.  _

_ Will sat just far enough away to keep me at arm's length like he was scared I’d try and get up and both again, but he didn’t touch me. _

_ I didn’t pay much attention to the TV screen. _

_ It was kinda stupid of me for thinking I’d find a family. _

_ As always, for every two steps up, I fall four steps back. _

_ A very bittersweet send off but, _

_ Love Tommy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dw, the angst isn't over yet, its just not tommy centric
> 
> i promise you, this isn't an angst fic, but in order to have comfort you need hurt. be glad I didn't kill somebody off or smth idk


	12. day twenty-nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy pov

_I remember when I was twelve, I was still relatively new to the foster system. In the home, all the boys shared rooms and all the girls shared rooms. They tried to keep you with kids your age, but not every kid my age was the nicest._

_Bad house after bad house, I got sent back to the home just to be bullied._

_That was until they put me into one of the smaller rooms, shared with only one other kid._

_He was nice to me, he understood what I was going through. He showed me his friends, they were older than us but treated as equal._

_I wasn’t used to that._

_We spent all day hanging out and all night laughing too._

_It may have been past lights out but nobody told us to shut up, laughing was rare._

_I found myself looking forward to going back to the home after failed houses. Because I had friends there. An ‘older brother’ who would keep the bullies away. A social worker, who despite not always choosing the best houses, genuinely did want the best for me. And a best friend, who helped me see the good in the fucked up situation I had._

_My roommate, Ranboo._

_Tubbo, introducing the two of you together had to be one of my best decisions eve_ r.

Something was off from the very beginning of the day. 

Ranboo wasn’t waiting for me when I got to school, and I couldn't find Tubbo in the halls. 

It wasn’t totally out of the ordinary, I mean- they could just be late. 

I almost texted Tubbo, but I left my phone at home. 

I didn’t want to break it more. 

_To be honest, I haven't even touched my phone since that night._

_I didn’t wanna think about it._

_I found myself hyper aware of my surroundings again, walking slower, and listening for Will walking to his bedroom door before using the stairs._

_I know I complained that they were walking on eggshells around me, but to be fair I was treading lightly too._

* * *

Lunch couldn't come soon enough. I pushed my way through the halls quickly. I had to stay to talk with a teacher about a quiz I missed (because I was busy running away) and I was gonna be late to lunch.

The bell rang overhead and I sighed.

Scratch that- I was late to lunch. 

I pushed open the doors to the big cafeteria, bee-lining it for the kitchen so I could grab food first. 

_Lunch food was gross. I used to not mind it since it was my only option, but Phil normally makes sandwiches for us, talking about how we need more nutrition than the cardboard meals in school. But he was busy last night, which was bad._

I grimince as the lunch lady puts some mystery taco meat on my tray with a smile, tossing on a bag of scoop chips too. 

Yum.

I grabbed one of the apples and stepped back into the cafeteria.

My lunch table with Tubbo and Ranboo is visible from here, we sit in the very corner of the cafeteria at one of the smaller tables, but only Tubbo is sitting there.

“Hey, man. Where’s Ranboo?” I ask sitting down. 

Tubbo raises his eyebrow. “Do you not check your discord, Tommy? I thought you had a cool new phone now?”

I wince. “That’s a long story.”

“We’ll get to that after. Ranboo got relocated again.”

One beat passes, then two.

“Oh.”

That would explain the multiple messages.

_I’ve watched people get relocated again and again._

_Hell, I’ve been relocated again and again._

_It’s never a final goodbye, unless you’re fortunate and get a good house- and if that's the case you can’t really be too mad, but I still felt bad I wasn’t here to wish Ranboo a good sendoff or whatever._

_It’s okay, I’ll probably just see him next week_.

“How far away?”

“Half hour, next town over.” Tubbo explains, eating the sandwich he brought for lunch. I hadn't touched my food yet.

“Did he say anything about the family? Good vibes? Bad vibes?”

“Not sure. Something about codes?”

Tubbo doesn't know what all the codes mean. I’ve tried to explain it to him, but he can’t memorize them. Which is understandable, it doesn't affect him.

I pull out my laptop and quickly (and finally) open discord. 

The foster kid group had hundreds of unread comments and mentions, but I skip right to the channel designated for codes.

Tubbo was right, the last message was by Ranboo, with a simple ‘purple’.

It was a warning code. ‘New home, unsure of safety. Somebody check in on me soon just to make sure I’m okay.’

I suck on my breath.

“What? What’s wrong?” Tubbo asked impatiently. 

“Nothing- Yet. Ranboo, he’s not sure if he’s safe.”

“That’s not good.”

“No shit.”

That message was almost a day ago and almost everyone in the discord has pinged him to check up since then.

Radio silence.

The most recent message was from Sapnap. ‘It hasn't been 24 hours yet. We can panic then.’

“He hasn’t been active on the discord.” I mumble. “I hope he’s okay.”

“I was talking with him two nights ago non stop, before he got relocated.” Tubbo explained.

That was the night I ran off, no wonder I missed so many messages.

“Ranboo told me a bit about the new family if you want me to tell you- if it makes you feel better.” Tubbo continued. “We tried messaging you but you never responded. There was an active call for like four hours. Speaking of- why did you go all off grid the past two days? What happened?”

“Uh-” I laugh awkwardly. “That’s not much of a better topic.”

“Oh no. Did you-”

“I did.” I push my untouched lunch tray away and rest my head on the table. “It was so stupid too. It was just a bit of yelling n shit.”

Tubbo tsked. “That’s okay tho. I mean, you’re here in lunch which means o=you went back and that’s a step”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“C’mon Tommy, head up and eat.” 

“Look at that lunch food, Tubbo. Does that look like something you’d wanna lift your head to eat?”

“At least get your face off the dirty table, then.” He said, shoving my shoulder slightly. “Ranboo will be okay, you and I both know that. And you’ll be okay too, even if you don’t know that yet.

_Screw you Tubbo, with your proper logic and positive thinking._

* * *

I walked the young ones alone that night. 

Normally I met the group a little ways from town square, but this time I had to pick them up from the home itself. 

It felt odd as I walked up to the building, the brick walls and big brown doors that were oh so familiar. 

_That building used to be my safe space. But as I stood there in the welcome room, waiting for the kids to come out- I felt like a stranger in a familiar past life._

_Like I had outgrown the confines of the home, but it was still, deep down, home._

_Just- one of many now._

_It felt strange to be back._

_I didn’t wanna stick around._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somehow this has a sadder vibe then the angst itself
> 
> oh well, remember to drink water! (or lemonade)

**Author's Note:**

> comments fuel me, leave feedback and help me know how to characterize them better!!


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